If you learned early on to read everyone else’s feelings before your own, to make yourself smaller so everyone else could feel okay, or to make sure you never gave anyone a reason to leave, you’re in the right place.
I’m Drew Mirman, a licensed therapist in Los Angeles working with adolescents and adults who have learned to put other people’s needs, expectations, or emotions ahead of their own — and are ready to find out what’s underneath that.
My focus is helping adolescents and adults who have learned to tie their sense of worth, safety, or belonging to being good enough, easy enough, or needed enough. Underneath that can be a quiet, persistent fear that falling short means being criticized, rejected, or left. That fear doesn't always look like fear. It can look like control, performance, silence, or even anger. And it can show up anywhere — in your relationships, your family, your school or career, and the way you talk to yourself.
You Might Be Carrying More Than It Looks Like
You might notice this pattern showing up as…
Relationship Difficulties
You find yourself preoccupied with your relationships, seeking reassurance, overthinking, or struggling with trust and vulnerability.
People-Pleasing
Saying yes when you mean no, agreeing just to keep the peace, and feeling guilty when you finally don't.
Perfectionism & High Expectations
You put a lot of pressure on yourself to get things right, meet expectations, or be the best you can be — and when you fall short, it doesn't feel like a mistake, it feels like proof that something's wrong with you.
Anxiety
Your mind is in constant overdrive, running the worst-case scenario on a loop. You overthink what you said, what they meant, and what might happen next.
The Inner Critic
You deserve the same kindness you so easily give to everyone else, but the voice in your head tells you otherwise.
Substance Use
You find yourself relying on substances to cope, unwind, numb difficult feelings, or quiet your mind — and you’re starting to wonder if it’s working for you anymore.
Outbursts
Everything you've held in for everyone else eventually has to go somewhere — and sometimes it comes out sideways, followed by shame.
Ready to stop carrying this alone?
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to talk about what you're going through and see whether we'd be a good fit to work together.
Pain doesn’t need a solution, it needs a witness.
That's what I try to be for my clients: someone who finally sees you, not someone who fixes you.
